Der große Bernhardiner liegt, wie immer,
leise,
und seine Augen blicken, auf die selbe Art,
die selbe Weise,
auf die Wurst dort, hinterm Fenster.
Immer wieder sonntags liegt er dort,
angebunden,
und er will bestimmt nicht fort,
denn sie würde munden,
diese Wurst dort, hinterm Fenster.
Und immer wieder nach ´ner Weile,
hastig,
kommt der Herr zurück in aller Eile,
und der Hund, er folgt ihm garstig:
Ich will doch nur ein Stück
von der Wurst dort, hinterm Fenster!
Mathematicians are like Frenchmen: whatever you say to them they translate into their own language, and forthwith it is something entirely different. - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
The French are just useless. They can’t organize a piss-up in a brewery. - Elton John
AACHENER KONGRESS (PDF; ~72KB)
Poem:
Ist es nicht genial
zu sehen,
wie die Dinge
sich drehen?
… into words. I’ve uncovered one of the biggest cover-ups in human history and you will be the first to get in on the scoop: August 1st, 2008.
Later in the year there will be another revelation coming your way, namely the long-forgotten story of arctic explorer N., who thought he could live in the endless ice, but, sadly, he was mistaken.
Ein stechender Blick, wie bereits erwähnt. Als Kleinkind entdeckte er früh seine Begeisterung für die Farbe weiß und für die unerbittliche Kälte des Nordens.
As soon as the jury had a little recovered from the shock of being upset, and their slates and pencils had been found and handed back to them, they set to work very diligently to write out a history of the accident, all except the Lizard, who seemed too much overcome to do anything but sit with its mouth open, gazing up into the roof of the court.
LAWYER, n. One skilled in circumvention of the law. - Ambrose Bierce
Without further ado, let me introduce you to an Indian who has found his way into life, or, there and back again.
HALBINDIANER MICHAEL (PDF; ~351KB)
Dennis Hwang might be the most famous and yet unknown artist in the world. His work has been viewed hundreds of millions of times, but chances are that you have not heard of him. That is because Dennis Hwang is logo designer at Google. He has been drawing Google’s holiday logos since 2000. Continue reading ‘Most famous unknown artist in the world’
This pixel painting, which I originally made on a 25×25 meter canvas and then minimized - to the size it now has -, took me five years of thinking and almost five minutes of painting to complete.
Hereupon, Mr. Crab desired me to use-up the editor of the ‘Gad-Fly’ forthwith, in the fiercest style within the scope of my ability, and as a specimen of my powers.
This is, among many other things, the incredible life story of one of the greatest men the world has ever seen. His name has been a miracle for a very long time, but my thorough research led me to the answer, which is far from ordinary, I may say. Read it now, but only with your lights punched out! And then, forget what you have read.
WANDLER M (PDF; ~71KB)
“Sukura!”, he shouted, while adminstsde I ee. You fleuo`? I see, none of this makes sense. It is overflowing: not today, but tomorrow will be the day when monsters crack heads open in a short eat-o-mania. We feel safe, in this world we have. And still, there are other worlds we know nothing of, but which are populated by red, little bastards. Aliens, one might say. Petestrials, I would say. None of this is supposed to be a sunny day’s truth, you see? Indeed, it is raining outside. Continue reading ‘Hair-Head’
